i was going to update DGGBA tonight, but i'm pretty exhausted (ha ha, if you have google reader you probably clicked this thinking that i was quitting DGGBA. well guess what motherfuckers - QUITTING'S NOT MY GAME) so i'll just leave it at this:
DGGBA Vol. 1 is now available at Needles and Pens (which i literally JUST noticed that it isn't called Needles and Pins) and Dog Eared Books (well, will be tomorrow after my lunch break) - and of course, through me here. That third choice might be your best bet if you're like me and don't often leave the house as i seriously doubt they'll be available for purchase on-line. But if you're in the neighborhood, drop on by and pick one up, i know i was concerned about how they were looking, but believe it or not, they look really really great and i have a hole-puncher (and a very helpful friend) to thank! i'm hoping to have more done by the weekend and more available in stores in the east bay (and BEYOND) by the end of the weekend.
definitely would like to trade these for zines, mix-tapes, etc, etc, but if you're unable or unwilling to trade, the paypal addy is ihateyourartschool at gmail dot com. make sure and tell me what you're buying in the comments because otherwise you might get an unwelcome surprise in your mailbox. blah blah blah why am i still typing?
heart - dave
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
DGGBA: n the gf and i
DGGBA stands for dave gulbis gives bad advice. thank god i don't give good advice, because then there would be a glaring typo on the cover of DGGBA vol. 1 (now available - hint, hint).
so dave -
i have this coworker that i really really love. in fact, she's
more than just a coworker, because sometimes i go over to her house and
watch movies or eat her overly ripened produce (not a sexual innuendo,
btw). the only problem with our relationship is that after a year of
working with her i'm really starting to get tired of stories about her cat
or stories about her girlfriend. dave. the ONLY stories she has are about
her cat or about her girlfriend. sometimes, when she's feeling REALLY
chatty, she'll tell a story about her cat AND about her girlfriend! for
example:
me: what'd you do on your day off, t?
t: n (the gf) and i made funny faces at w (the feline) all day! and then
we took some polaroids of him! and then we all went on a walk together
where we ran into this other cat who wasn't near as cute as w. and then..
(and so on)
me: ..... (silence and blinking)
dave, i need some advice!
-hopeless individual
*******************************
dear hopeless individual -
You've probably heard of fighting fire with fire, but when it comes to dull conversations, i fight bore with bore - meaning, instead of avoiding your friend's clear attempts to bond with you, you should use the opportunity to disclose similarly boring facts about yourself.
For example, if "t" starts talking about that really cute time when her cat fell asleep on her lap and she had to sit up really slowly so the cat didn't wake up and then she picked up the cat and she started to wake up but then she fell back asleep and started purring and oh it was so cute, you should respond by telling her that you also have a story, and then tell her about the other night when you fell asleep on the couch and then you got up and went to bed (without brushing your teeth, ew). Or if she mentions the time when she and her girlfriend decided to clean out all the overripe produce from the refrigerator (wink, wink), you should mention the time you couldn't find anything good in your fridge, so you decided to eat out instead (again, wink wink). Starting to get the picture?
You see HI (hi!), conversations are a lot like peppers; some like them spicy, but some like them mild, and a good host wouldn't serve Habaneros to their more mild-mannered friends (that brilliant analogy is TRADEMARKED, don't even TOUCH it without a lawyer). Thanks for your letter HI (hi!), I hope my advice will help you and your boring friend have plenty of boring times together.
heart - dave
so dave -
i have this coworker that i really really love. in fact, she's
more than just a coworker, because sometimes i go over to her house and
watch movies or eat her overly ripened produce (not a sexual innuendo,
btw). the only problem with our relationship is that after a year of
working with her i'm really starting to get tired of stories about her cat
or stories about her girlfriend. dave. the ONLY stories she has are about
her cat or about her girlfriend. sometimes, when she's feeling REALLY
chatty, she'll tell a story about her cat AND about her girlfriend! for
example:
me: what'd you do on your day off, t?
t: n (the gf) and i made funny faces at w (the feline) all day! and then
we took some polaroids of him! and then we all went on a walk together
where we ran into this other cat who wasn't near as cute as w. and then..
(and so on)
me: ..... (silence and blinking)
dave, i need some advice!
-hopeless individual
*******************************
dear hopeless individual -
You've probably heard of fighting fire with fire, but when it comes to dull conversations, i fight bore with bore - meaning, instead of avoiding your friend's clear attempts to bond with you, you should use the opportunity to disclose similarly boring facts about yourself.
For example, if "t" starts talking about that really cute time when her cat fell asleep on her lap and she had to sit up really slowly so the cat didn't wake up and then she picked up the cat and she started to wake up but then she fell back asleep and started purring and oh it was so cute, you should respond by telling her that you also have a story, and then tell her about the other night when you fell asleep on the couch and then you got up and went to bed (without brushing your teeth, ew). Or if she mentions the time when she and her girlfriend decided to clean out all the overripe produce from the refrigerator (wink, wink), you should mention the time you couldn't find anything good in your fridge, so you decided to eat out instead (again, wink wink). Starting to get the picture?
You see HI (hi!), conversations are a lot like peppers; some like them spicy, but some like them mild, and a good host wouldn't serve Habaneros to their more mild-mannered friends (that brilliant analogy is TRADEMARKED, don't even TOUCH it without a lawyer). Thanks for your letter HI (hi!), I hope my advice will help you and your boring friend have plenty of boring times together.
heart - dave
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