DGGBA: rash might go

DGGBA stands for dave gulbis gives bad advice. Today's an exciting entry of DGGBA - since it's insanely slow at work (anyone want to buy some records?), this is the first entry I've actually been paid to write! (just don't tell anyone...)

dear dave -

lately i've been concerned that i don't shower enough, but since i've stopped taking public transit and bowling (both activities who's regular participators definitely shower quite often i've noted) the only people i see are my dirty coworkers anyway. do you think i should start showering more again? or do you think i'm in the safe zone?

thx
andy

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Hi Andy,

You know Andy, whether you meant to or not (and I like to think that you did), you've asked this question at a particularly convenient time. Good for you! In the past, I would have advised you to stray from the shower. Water is the world's most precious commodity (next to of course gin), and why be so selfish to saturate yourself with it when people around the world are dying thirsty? What, so that you won't smell so bad? So that you won't have dirt on your body? So that rash MIGHT go away? Dirt don't hurt girl, and thirst is the worst!

But, being the trend-setter that I am, everyone's urging everyone to go green lately...which presumably includes not showering and actually going a little gang green (see what i did there? PRETTY CLEVER!). I like to stay ahead of the game, so my advice to you Andy would be to not only shower excessively, but to also chug bottled water while doing so. Together, we can make a difference (but we should still shower separately). Thanks for your letter, and thanks for letting me think about you taking a shower.

heart - dave

DGGBA: anything semi

DGGBA stands for dave gulbis gives bad advice. DGBTM stands for dave gulbis blogs too much, but when you spend as much time alone as i do you get really good at talking to yourself.

Dear Mister Gulbis,

I would like you to start a DGTBA blog.
Wouldn't it be amusing if you both gave and took bad advice?
This could be your first letter.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen

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Hi A Concerned Citizen,

Don't fucking tell me what to do. I'm dave fucking gulbis and i'll be dispensing the advice around here, understood?

That said, that actually is a good idea. Starting henceforth, I will now be dispensing bad advice as well as receiving bad advice. Since I already have four blogs (i just started a new blog for things I hate about my roommate, Woody the stuffed bear: thingsihateaboutwoody.blogspot.com), I'll be giving my updates here. If you have anything semi-legal that you think i should try, send me an e-mail and i'll let you know how it went.

oh, and also ACC, just to keep up my rep as a bad adviser, i think that you should probably get a tattoo of oscar the grouch eating cheetos on your left butt-cheek. if seeing that every morning doesn't ease your unspecific concerns, nothing will! Thanks for your letter.

heart - dave