DGGBA: hard or hangin'

DGGBA stands for dave gulbis gives bad advice, but based on someone's suggestion, i've been thinking about changing the name of the blog to "dave gulbis gives back to the teens (DGGBTTT)." If the name itself doesn't sell you, the fact that the acronym is only two letters away from "dogbutt" probably won't close the deal either.

Dear Dave,

What do you think of this (http://tinyurl.com/6r8942), and should I get it for my kids?

Best,
B

**************

Hi B -

For those of you who listened to their parents when they told you not to click links from strangers (HA! you see what i did there?), that site is selling these:



Here's an excerpt of the description (i edited it to make it sound like a description of a dildo):

"Deep front pocket and hood for extra protection against getting slammed...thick (not bulky) for enjoying roomy comfort...Great durability for playing hard or hangin' out...Stay warm while lookin' casual-cool in this kid version of an adult favorite."

Enough fun and games though - do I think you should get one for your kids? Well B (have we met?), I think that if you heart your dildo enough to buy a sweatshirt to make sure everyone knows that you have an unhealthy obsession with a vibrating piece of machinery that you jam up your vagina on a good day and wrestle into your butt on a bad day (and poke in your ear on a weird day), then chances are you probably don't have any kids of your own who will get to learn what dildos and masturbation are from either the principal who's suspending them or the pederast who also hearts dildos (in a much more unhealthy way). If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - DILDOS DON'T EJACULATE - so if you really want to have kids you can fuck up by giving them this sweatshirt, you might want to direct some money from your 9-volt battery budget towards sperm banks, gigolos, or to me, dave gulbis (same diff). Dildos can't get you pregnant, but give me some booze and a corn-dog and i'll see what i can do. Thanks for your letter.

heart - dave

p.s. - zine update: i might work on them tonight if i get bored.

p.p.s. - geez, have these always been so vulgar? this is the first one i actually read.