DGGBA: either going or not going

DGGBA stands for dave gulbis gives bad advice. it might also be a constellation, i'm not sure.

dear dave,
how do i be a success?
sincerly hillary

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dear hillary,
to be a success you have to first decide in which way you'd like to be successful. i recommend starting small, like "i want to be good at tying my shoes" or "i want to be a successful advice columnist." next, you have to do research in the field. your local library probably has a variety of books on how to research. of course, before you head to the library, you should probably set a goal for yourself that involves being successful with the dewey decimal system. that might be a goal you'll just have to throw yourself into though, as, having never been to a library myself, i really can't help you on that one.
um, thirdly, after you accomplish your goals of being successful with the dewey decimal system and researching on ways to properly research, you should probably head to the park for some well deserved R and R (those stand for rest and relaxation, respectively). successful people are happy people, so you should make sure that you are happy too - unless of course you are looking to be successful at being unhappy, in which case, skip the park.
ok then, after either going or not going to the park, you are ready for action! it's time to get yourself out there, and show the world what you can do! when they see you out there, success is sure to follow, somehow! glad i could help, and don't forget us little people when you're out there being successful!

heart - dave