DGGBA stands for dave gulbis gives bad advice. if my parents had named me "awesome bad-ass" like i had asked, then the title of this column would be a palindrome. too bad my parents are dicks.
dear dave,
How do I make it stop?
love and kisses,
mikey
********************
dear mikey,
pronouns that don't reference nouns are tricky, but don't think you've put one over on me! below is a list of possible things "it" might refer to, and possible answers to your possible question.
it = "the voice inside my head"
A: find a louder voice outside of your head, even if it means sitting alone in your room and shouting.
it = "this bus full of nuns and orphans"
A: swerve the wheel back and forth frantically. if that doesn't make it stop, adjust your rear and side mirrors. still no? call superman.
it = "the itching and burning"
A: Either tough-actin' Tinactin (I got paid $50 to type that) or Valtrek (Valtrek is not a cure for herpes, merely a treatment for its symptoms)
it = "the unbearable lightness of being"
A: if you're referring to the movie, there should be a button on the remote with a square on it. push that one or just unplug the tv. the book? throw it out the window. the actual lightness of being? gain weight (wakka wakka).
it = "the laughter"
A: read this sub-par column. man, not my best work. maybe you did put one over on me.
heart - dave
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